Miracles and Big Stuff

I will just warn you from the beginning that this will be lengthy and probably only interesting to me. I just wanted to look back and document all of the things that show God's hand in my life.

From the beginning of our decision to have more children we have seen a number of miracles. I find it amazing as I look back to see how many ways that our family has been helped and guided. After realizing that having children the conventional way was not working for us, we both researched LDS social services and other adoption places and we both felt guided towards becoming foster parents with the intention of adopting, if possible. Our reasoning was that there were so many couples who hadn't experienced an infant, as we were able to do with Babs, and that there were so many children on Wednesday's Child and other sites that were in such desperate need for a stable family. Don't laugh...we are somewhat stable! Just because I'm crazy and M'deary was in school and we live in my parents basement and were financially tight...still felt guided to do it at that time-so there!

So we attended the classes and were somewhat discouraged. The teacher told us that if we were there with any intention of adopting, that we should just back off and realize that DCFS was there to reunite families and that we should not be there for any other purpose than to foster. We still felt that we should go ahead, but to make our intentions clear to the person selecting families for the children that we would prefer a placement with some likelihood of adoption. We completed coursework for and received our license and....waited. It was about nine months later that we finally heard that a little girl was in Primary Childrens hospital with a NG-tube and they wanted us to foster her because of M'deary's nursing skills.

Long story short-we had Bitty in June just long enough for her to heal and get the NG-tube out, then her brother Claus came. I didn't think I could take the other two siblings at the time and so Bryguy and Goosie were in another foster home. It was actually wonderful to make friends with the other foster mom during this time. We would have the siblings get together and see one another, in addition to visits with their biological parents at DCFS. It was also good to have someone who was home with new, fragile children who understood what I was going through. I had a great desire to love, but that didn't mean that the children wanted to be here. The visits and many factors dragged on for a long time and we had endless rounds of weekly visits with Bio-parents, DCFS meetings, early intervention therapy, WIC, Mountainland Headstart meetings and Driving Claus to school, Bitty's follow ups at Primarys, weekly therapy for both children, foster care license renewal classes and continuing education requirements, carrying on with my demanding calling at the Utah state hospital, dental surgeries for rampant dental caries and needed crowns, developmental testing, catch up on shots and Dr exams, multiple eye appointments and hearing exams for Claus who was a preemie. I could go on, but I only document this because Heavenly Father knew what I was up against and during all of this the other foster family was meeting the same needs of Bryguy and Goosie. I couldn't have done all four of them at once. Especially Goosie. She was hospitalized during this time for cellulitis and all four had many, many visits to the doctor for croup, strep, ear infections, RSV etc. They literally caught everything!

When the case was winding down, and it was becoming apparent that the biological parents were not going to be able to take care of their children, the other foster family were having some issues where it was possible that they weren't going to be able to adopt Bryguy and Goosie. M'deary and I both knew that they would be coming soon. In November we welcomed them to our home as well and I then had five children ages 5,4,3,2, and 1. I potty trained all of them except Goosie in six months and it has been a wild ride. I will be forever grateful to my parents for all of the help that they have given me-reminds me of three more miracles.

1.We had the ability to move out financially long before any of the children came and felt compelled to stay. We were able to save money and right before the call about Bitty-our old red Buick bit the dust. We try to be thrifty and originally thought of buying a fuel efficient compact car, but I had this thought that we should buy a minivan. Yuck, I know. M'deary fought me and questioned me and protested, but to no avail. We were to have a minivan-thanks for listening to me M'deary-it is one of your best traits. Said van is now full-up. Not one seat empty. I know we were guided to do this, even if I now have to pilot a mom-vehicle. (I deny scratching it. How did you hear of that!!?)

2. I had the indispensable help of my mom at home with me because we hadn't moved. I couldn't take five children to a therapy session for just one child. M'deary had to study for and pass his nursing exam and start new, demanding jobs and get various certifications. I was on my own with a five year old as my best helper and I needed a live-in assistant. Props to you momma/gramma!

3. I had been going to send to charity all of Babs baby stuff including crib, double stroller etc. and felt like I should keep it longer. I kept it probably a year and a half and tried to junk it every month. It is all put to daily use now:)

As soon as the children were all in the same home together it became immediately apparent that it was supposed to be that way. They were able to calm one another down and the grief from loss was lessened. Also, some children balanced out or fit needs of other children. It was pretty amazing to see. Babs had a small adjustment period to no longer being an only child and has settled in just fine. She is a good big sister-I should also place that in my list of miracles.

I am doing a lot of rambling, but on May 17, 2010 we went to court for the final time and legally adopted all four children. We were able to have them sealed to us on our anniversary in the Provo temple on June 7, 2010. I am silly and sentimental, but I thought it was cool that all of our children were sealed to us on the same day in the same place as Babs was-just seven years later.

Here's some pics in the van (everyone tired on a road trip) and at our court session.





And here's some of them so happy...

Bryguy

Goosie

Claus

Bitty

Babs

All of us at the Provo temple on our sealing day. Happy!